Last Post of 2011

So the year is ending. It hasn’t been the best for the Guth family. My father died in March — it still feels a little surreal to me. Maybe I haven’t fully processed it. Though I know that I handled it as best I could, kept my wits about me and my center within me, and hopefully I was there for the rest of my family. Then my widowed mom had surgery this fall to remove a tumor on her intestine. Thankfully it was benign, but it’s been a tough road for her, and it was difficult for my sister and me to be so far away. She’s recovering nicely now. But I think we’re all glad that a new year is about to begin.

Still, I can’t say I had a horrible year. Even with these huge, life-changing events. Even with some issues in my personal life that were quite difficult at times, and that I hope we can make progress on in 2012. I think it’s because the way I handle things now is so hugely different from the way I handled them four or five years ago. Or even in 2010.

There’s nothing more important than keeping yourself centered, knowing you have that strength there, and then trusting that you are going to be able to weather what comes. That and knowing that your loved ones — family and friends, your kula — have your back, that they will be there to catch you if you happen to fall. It’s a very safe place to be, and one that allows me to be with my feelings instead of just reacting to them, or recoiling from things that might cause pain.

And I have a lot to be grateful for. My incredible daughters, my husband, all the other people in my life whom I love, and the things that sustain me: yoga, books, writing, music, running, playing tennis. These days, even on a day when I don’t have a lot going on, I take pleasure in knowing that something is going to come up that will make me feel happy, or fascinated, or interested, or just emotional (and that’s a good thing). On a hectic day, I kind of enjoy the running to and fro, feeling productive, crossing things off of my list. Stopping for a chai latte.

Life is good. And I’m hoping 2012 will offer lots of evidence of that fact.

I’m going to make my word for this next year love. Simple as that.


5 Comments on “Last Post of 2011”

  1. williamguth says:

    I keep thinking uncle david is going to come out of nowhere as if he’d just run to the bathroom or something. It is surreal.


  2. John Lane says:

    You know, of all the interesting people I have encountered in my time on Spaceship Earth, David Guth was one of my favorite…my Mother always spoke highly yet truthfully of him. I only wish I could have spent more time with this funny, engaging, interesting yet human man. What a trip! He made quite a lasting impression on this kid. BTW, your last word of the year says it all…well said!

    Heres to a great 2012~PEACE!


  3. Jackie Underberg says:

    Love You, Tracy! Happy New Year


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